MY FIRST CRUSH CRUSHED

My personal goal of blogging regularly has not been fulfilled. I have so many delayed posts, but it might be a while before I can write all of them. The following story was inspired by a Friend who is so curious to know about my first crush. After this post, my next post would be on one of my first love poems.

Almost everyone had their first crush as early as pre-school but mine was rather late; it was in high school during preparation for my final exam.

*It’s a lie you might say, I wished it was too ‘cos when it happened I denied it like hell*

It wasn’t crush at first sight; in my point of view when I first met him he was quite annoying but we were friends.

Many classify their first crush as special but mine was rather unique. It was quite unexpected especially with him.

*see how your eyes are wide open, you want to know his name abi? I won’t tell you. For those who know him good, and for you who doesn’t, all is good; let’s just call him FM*

FM is an intelligent, cool, bold, lovable, good looking guy, sometimes annoying and he knows exactly what to say and when to say it.

*Remember I said my first crush was unique, I forgot to mention the experience was annoying too*

I got signs that he likes me, I was even told by his friends, but I had a strong mind on the fact that, that’s impossible he’s just a friend that I’m just a friend to him and nothing more.

So I played the innocent child and ignored his feelings but it took me to crush on him before I understood how he felt all this time.

Even when I knew I kind of like this guy, I still told myself that hey girl what rubbish his just a friend so if I like him it’s something natural and nothing special attached.

But guys I knew something was very well attached when anytime I see him my heart begin to race and the day I met his gf my system began to boil and my soul filled with anger. #jealousy

Oh my! FOR NO REASON I WAS SAD AND GLOOMY ON THAT DAY. Okay Okay I’d say the truth I kinda cried like a little child.

His gf was cool, she was beautiful, bold, intelligent and knows the right things to say – knowing how to start a conversation and end it pretty well. I liked her, or should I say it was hard to dislike her.

*But this aint about her, but about me and how love can turn you stupid. We’ve gotten to the part I really don’t want to share, but hey what the heck I’ve started it, I must end it *

Whenever I hear his voice or he stands beside me or coming towards me or hear someone call his name, my heart beats very fast. I never had the guts to tell him anything; I tried as much as possible to hide my feelings, but hey he is a smart dude, I’m 99.9% sure he was aware of it.

Oh my I was a complete idiot, whatever he says funny or not you’d always see me smiling sheepishly or laughing like an idiot. AISH! So Embarrassing.

When he gets me angry and I try to yell at him, I just couldn’t raise my voice on me. I’m a person who argues a lot, but when it comes to him, even if I know what he says is wrong, to not prolong any discussion with him -so I won’t melt like an ice-cream under a hot sun- I’d go yeah yeah yeah you’re right. I’m a talkative myself, but when it comes to talking to him I barely manage to make a sentence.

Back then, if I have something to ask him on phone, I’d take up to one hour to compose whatever I intend to ask so I can say it quick and cut the call as fast as possible. And if it’s a text, I’d even open a dictionary to make sure its error free. At times when he compliments me, I smile like an idiot and my tongue becomes folded-in making it difficult for me to reply.

I was a complete jerk; love is happiness, sadness, pain, hate, jealousy and change.

For the record, I want you to know that I had a crush on you and after 3years I still deem you special to me.

I treasure my first crush, love is a precious thing to treasure, and I was immature for not acknowledging my feelings and ignoring his.

Whether he/she is your First Crush or not, try to take a risk you don’t know what he/she might say.

I never took the risk o, but hey take the risk don’t be shy and let’s hear your own story.